PLAY 101- Raising Socially Healthy Kids

With the increased use of screen time, children are not having enough social experiences to strengthen the social muscle. Without this experience I have found that children struggle even more with the nuances of social interaction. In math we don’t immediately start with algebra or trigonometry. We begin with the basics of adding and subtracting. The same goes for social emotional development. Children needs lots of experience with their peers and siblings to grow their social and emotional skills.

The math teacher provides early examples of how to add. The teacher helps the child to discover ways to add that work for the child. Likewise, the parent is the child’s first social teacher/peer. Just as we sit with the child when they do their beginning homework, we play with a child and their peer. This is best done when your child is young. First play with your child and gain an insight into their play potential and then you can invite a peer over to play. This allows the children to use the skills learned with you in a real life situation. Having a child over who is in their class will help them develop a friendship outside of school. This friendship can then be brought back into the school environment. Parents sometimes fall into thinking that socialization happens in school. My short answer it doesn't. Providing opportunities for children to be successful outside of school creates a more optimal social life at school.

Our daughter had difficulty with the aggressive interactions some of her peers demonstrated. There was another child who also didn’t seem to thrive in the alpha girl environment. They both enjoyed being outside and loved exploring bugs and frogs. Her mother and I would take them to a nearby stream once a week when we had early dismissal. This allowed them to thrive in an environment that was shared with us moms. They were provided with an environment that allowed them to develop social skills like cooperation, leadership, following, and the enjoyment of friendship. It was interesting when a new child would join us, and to see them be strong in their environment, welcome another and share it with them.

Taking your child to the park and not sitting on the bench can be your first step. I know from experience that when you play with your child at the park other children will gravitate to your shared experience. Try playing in the sand with your child with shovels or trucks and see. I always encourage the parent to bring an extra shovel or truck. When the child is young you can show your child sharing by giving yours to new friend. Remember don’t be the leader in the play, just expand what your child is doing. Follow their lead, otherwise they become dependent on your imagination.

Enjoy your time together!

Janelle October, Parenting/Lifestyle/Nutrition Coach